Rivalfish's 2006 Bears - Super Bowl Shuffle Remix

Lyrics by Pete Keeley, petekeeley@gmail.com and Jonah Ansell, jansell@rivalfish.com

Performed by two inexorably white rappers who will remain nameless for their families' safety.

Back in 85' you might recollect
a certain Chi-Team, that earned yo' respek.
But now it's 06' and the Bears are back,
The Coach is gone, and our new one's black...
Pour some out for the winners of Super Bowl twenty...
but we'd beat their asses like they owed us money.

This year we're causin' all types of trouble,
Pretty soon we'll be doing the Super Bowl Shuffle.

I'm Urlacher, heard of me?
Everybody and their dog has my jersey.
The most feared man in the NFL,

Except for Jeff Garcia, but that's because... well...
The best player on the best defense,
on the best damn team... am I making sense?
Home field advantage, Let's f-ing do this.
I only kill people on the field, unlike Ray Lewis...

I'm Rex Grossman,
When I first got drafted, they sold no tickets
People were weary from the way I did whippets,

But it doesn't matter, we're playoff bound
So I get more ass than Cade McNown,
Preseason haters can lick my balls.
The ones in the endzone, as well as my drawls.

They call me pretty Ricky, hands are sticky
I'll catch any football, I'm not picky.
I'll catch the curl. I'll catch the slant.

Go deep on me, and I'll uncle your aunt.

I know where you're throwing like I was in your huddle.
Now I'm gonna do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

The call me TJ Hammer, or "Super Neck."
I turn a Michael Irvin tie into a bitch's barrette

Now I grind down the defense, and open the door
for Rex to go deep on 2nd and 4.
Replacing me with Cedric, is the plan...
But he sucks...

Cedric: Hey Thomas.

Thomas: Ced. What's up man?

I'm Robbie Gould, I kick ball.
I play with the ball, I kick the ball.
It's pronounced like "gold," not "gould" you fool!
I never miss a kick, but you know I'm a tool,

But that's okay, I got a secret... I'll whisper:
(I had sex with Tank Johnson's sister)
What? I like a little meat. Don't knock the hustle.
I just came to do the superbowl shuffle.

I'm the rookie Mark A, from the Crimson Tide

Running backs can't run, fullbacks can't hide.
As to what I mess up worse, there's some debating:
A quarterback's health or his passer rating.
But possibly the most unbelievable thing:
We're so fucking good I'm second string!

It's your boy, Bernard. I make big plays happen.
I cause more blown coverage than Janet Jackson. .

All the corners rave about my speed.
I take more balls deep than Tara Reid.

It's not that our schedule is sweeter that syrup.
We just make the NFL look like NFL Europe.
So book a Miami hotel on the double

We'll be there doin' the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Please let us win a playoff game this year,
Or we'll be in deeper shit than Michael Richards' career.