AN OCEAN OF NOISE: Part I

"Stop me if you've heard this one. Brilliant kid with a sharp wit and a keen ear for China Cat Sunflower -> I Know You Rider spends college indulging in the culture-rich counterculture of our parents' time in the Sun. His drug of choice is safe and legal if you have glaucoma in Humboldt rather than carteled by a power-hungry bloc. His favorite writer scribes his ramblings in an altered state for others in an altered state, and he wants to someday relay his head-full of social satire and Big Ten tales to in tune fellows young and old. He's good people, and good people get where they're going. But first he has to work for some wicked insurance benefits and something called a "pension" teaching America's Dbag high school kids. So for now it's their strange and terrible saga he'll tell." - Tello Real

by The Gentle Samoan aka Homeroom Gonzo

In a sea of empty noise, he stood silent. Head tilted, chin nearly touching the knot of his tie, the principal’s eyes purveyed the familiar scene of stoned adolescence. The school of teens surged in all directions, a fluid body of foreplay and machismo. A cacophony of cat calls and slurs, colloquial yet timeless.

It was the final twenty minutes of Winston Bell’s tenure as administrator. Despite the ocean of violence rushing headlong toward his solitary shore, he was as serene as Siddhartha . A hangdog smile, perfected over the course of nineteen predictable years, curled itself satisfactorily on his countenance.

.................................................

“Where your eyes look, there your heart will be,” Deacon Howard wondered aloud, staring starry-eyed at Tara Easley. Deacon was madly in love.

The room exploded in laughter. Tara blushed violently, hiding her head in her sweater. White trash wannabe gangsters wasted no time.

“Wha’ tha fuck you sayin’?!”

“Oh shit, I knew he’s a fuckin, faggot, but a retart, too?”

“Re-ta-ta-TA-AWRTED!”

The three thugs jump excitedly in their formica seats. The spittle resting on their lips reminded Deacon of the foamy tides of his home.

“I believe you mean to say reTARDed,” gushed the kid they called Deek the Geek. He said it without condescension or malice. Deacon Howard just wanted to be liked. He loved people, even the sadists who vilified his vivaciousness. Deek the Geek was the most popular kid in the entire school. An object of pity and loathing, Deek the Geek was everything his principal forgot how to be.

TO BE CONTINUED, if you're lucky.....