Rivalfish Names Perry's Deli #1 Eatery in Chicago

by Jonah Ansell, Rival Room Producer, jansell@rivalfish.com

In the wake of the countless $125/plate New Year's Eve dinner/drinking packages to choose from weekend, Rivalfish would like to honor a far more fulfilling, far less seasonal institution: one that is better, cheaper, quicker, tastier, that unlike the wham-bam NYE parties, whose memories will have faded with the hangover by 4 pm on New Year's Day, we are pleased to honor a Chicago establishment that never fails to infinitely satisfy.

That's right, it's almost December 31st, and magazines/blogs/cable music channels everywhere are scrambling to compile best of/worst of/top 10 lists to order the events of this past year, in hopes of fabricating a linear "cause/effect," "best/worst" timeline that we feebleminded humans can look to for direction in hopes of bringing order to order our chaotic existence. These lists, which peaked in cultural relevance in about 1993, with the rise of David Letterman's once-hilarious nightly Top Ten lists, have now become so ubiquitous in our cable news culture, that no matter what brilliant judgments are made, they must be taken with a grain of salt when they're divided and ordered into a friendly and easy to stomach list with ten identical placeholding spots. Just because Google insists upon over-organizing the information within our world doesn't mean that we have to follow.

If you are a human that relies on such a relational list to define your interests, read no further. People have become so consumed with creating "lists" that they no longer make "statements."

For those of you who embrace the chaos, the answer you've been searching for is Perry's Deli. It's the #1 Eatery in Chicago.

Calm down fans of Johnny's Beef, Elmwood Park is NOT Chicago.

Calm down fans of Manny's Deli, their prices send a single meal skyrocketing upwards of $16, reminding me of a certain Stage Delicatessen in a certain other similarly high-priced city.

Calm down fans of Charlie Trotter's, Rivalfish threw down over $500 at your elegant eatery this past year and although you satiated the fuck out of us, you didn't complete us.

Perry's completes us, weekly. Perry's is the greatest escape in the Chicago Loop. It offers deli sandwiches both overwhelmingly good and overwhelmingly generous. The deli boasts a "no cell phone" rule, that has distinguished it from most other restaurants in America in years past, as Perry's chefs would yell at patrons who tried to bring the dealings of the Loop into its best eatery.

In 2006, Perry's upgraded its enforcement of the cell phone rule with the installation of a punishing "siren button" in the kitchen. As soon as a potential patron walks through the door talking into a cell-phone, the alarm blares, sending all dining eyes onto the perpetrator. Not since third grade recess has public scolding been so delightful. But a true Perry's lover need not dwell on the particular anecdotes about the restaurant that make it unique and mediable to a journalist who describes what insiders appreciate from the outside.

It's the sandwiches, stupid!

From the Peter Pansky to Ernest's Ecstasy, to to the 1st-timer must: Perry's Favorite.....and, just wait a sec, who could forget the assortment of Triple Decker sandwiches bound to kill afternoon productivity.

So make sure you head over to Perry's in 2007, to guarantee yourself a year better than 2006.