BFFs!.......FOREVER

“As we constantly tout, us Rivalfish writers somehow have friends in the outside world. And they aren’t ALL bloggers. Just most of them. To keep in touch with our collective posse, we engage in an extensive group e-mail chain that allows us to speak freely, out from under the cock-strangling censorship of our overbearing mail-order girlfriends. And what do we do with that e-mail chain? We talk sports. In the meantime, our girlfriends try to save enough money cleaning houses to ship themselves back to their strife-ridden homelands. Good riddance! Just stop interrupting the game, ho! So if we are going to lose the “love’s of our lives� (or so we tell them every time we feel like getting laid) we might as well publish the e-mails that fill our cubicle-confined wieners with blood. Enjoy!� - Rival Room Editor

FROM PETE “DON’T CALL ME LARRY� KEELEY, LOSER BLOGGER BEHIND THE STRANGLY SUCCESFULL JO-TEL.EDITME.COM:

So they finally did a Baseball Tonight segment about the AL's complete dominance of the NL. I noticed it the first day of interleague when I think the AL maybe lost 2? Anyhow, especially of note, the AL Central's record against the NL Central. As of press time the records are as follows:

Royals: 6-5
Sox: 10-1
Detroit: 9-2
Cleveland: 4-7
Minnesota: 9-2

AL CENTRAL: 38-17

The ROYALS! The worst record in baseball! Have a winning record vs. the NL Central. That's f$cking incredible. Perhaps even more so, the top three AL teams are 28-5, and 14-2 vs. the NL top three (White Sox are 8-1). Oof. For some perspective, that's even more dominant that the White Sox were last season when they began the year 37-18 vs. everybody... oh, and then they won the Series in four games. Vs. Houston.Here's my point. Not to rub anything in the Cubs fan's faces, but do you realize how much worse this dominance of the White Sox's division makes the Cubs look?

Put it this way, if the Cubs switched with the Royals, the Royals would maybe be at .500 while the Cubs would DREAM about being ONLY 17 under. They'd orgasm to think about maybe, by the end of the season, being able to pull it together, get Wood and Prior healthy, D-Lee back to his ‘05 form, and maybe climbing their way back to 17 under. Maybe. Probably not though.

Also consider the Sox switching with the Reds or the Cards. The Sox would have lost like, 9 games while the Cards would be locked in a dead heat with Cleveland for ‘06s most disappointing team. The Reds would have traded Dunne and Aroyo for prospects. And Detroit wouldn't have anyone within 10 games (and still have a better record than us). This has to be depressing to think about. I mean, really one of the only excuses you could made this year, since the Yanks ruined your "Injured Stars" defense, was that the NL Central competition was so stiff. And here comes the AL Central to prove that the two best records in baseball being in the same division is no mistake, and not the Royals' doing. See you in four days for the Cubs v. Sox slaughter at Wrigley. Ashamboolikan



FROM JOSH “AMONG THE HMONG� DOWNS, EXPATRIOT LOTHARIO, dtrain692@yahoo.com

Here's my point. Not to rub it in your face, but I hate you Keeley. Take a look at the numbers. The games played at home in the AL vs. NL central matchups go this way AL-36, NL-24. Don't try to pretend that home-field advantage doesn't weigh more in interleague games where NL teams have to play AL teams whose rosters are made up with the DH rule in mind, so your precious pitchers don't chip a nail by actually playing the sports of baseball, and you know, swinging a bat.

While the NL central teams are forced to use their fourth outfielder (or in the Cubs case backup catcher) to fill that DH spot in the lineup, the AL teams come to bat with the likes of Travis Hafner, Jim Thome, Chris Shelton, Mike Sweeney, and to a lesser extent Jason Kubel and Rondell White. Why don't you nudge John Kruk on his hairy shoulder, tell him to get off of you and go make breakfast, and then you and the rest of your Baseball Tonight ass-buddies can wait until the interleague series are over before you talk about dominance. Not arguing one thing though, if you put the Cubs in the Texas League they would be 17 games under .500 and happy, and Dusty would still be talking about "Gimme my Horses and I'll win."

Go f*(K something with herpes.
Love
Josh